Erdogan Calls Trump to Congratulate Him on “Historic” Deal With the Terrorists Who Tried to Murder His Daughter

According to sources, Erdogan reportedly told Trump: “My friend, you have shown true leadership. Negotiating with terrorists is the only way to peace. Very smart. Very strong. Send money.”

Trump, sources say, responded by calling the talks “tremendous” and noting that Iran had agreed to “stop shooting for now” in exchange for sanctions relief and a promise not to build the bomb they already have the material for.

He did not mention the recent revelation that an Iran-linked Iraqi operative had drawn up blueprints of Ivanka’s Florida home as part of a revenge plot for the Soleimani strike.

White House aides later clarified that the president “hasn’t ruled out” further action if The Islamic Republic Of Iran cheats on the deal - right after he finishes pressuring Israel to stand down on Hezbollah.

Meanwhile, the Kurds - the one group inside Iran actually willing to fight the IRGC on the ground - remain completely unsupported.

Erdogan, who has spent years crushing Kurdish aspirations on both sides of the border, is reportedly “very pleased” with this outcome.

Turkish officials have been quietly telling anyone who will listen that arming Iranian Kurds would be “extremely dangerous” and could destabilize Turkey’s ability to keep oppressing Kurds.

Insiders say Erdogan also used the call to offer Turkey’s “full support” for implementing the Iran deal - a generous gesture from the same guy who will now play with absolutely anybody. While he was on the phone with Trump, Ukrainian oligarchs and officials were once again flying into Istanbul with suitcases full of cash. “Beautiful new coalition” between an Islamic Ottoman sultan teaming up with corrupt Slavic neo-Nazis, all of it happily paid for by the taxpayers of the European Union.

The Turkish Lira hit yet another all-time low - 45.93 to the dollar - continuing its slow-motion collapse. The central bank is torching reserves faster than Erdogan can issue new threats against Greek islands in the Aegean, which Turkey still insists are “disputed” despite being sovereign Greek territory under international law.

Of course, Turkey will remain perfectly calm all summer long - after all, thousands of geriatric Europeans will be flying in for their cut-rate dental vacations and all-inclusive beach holidays, wallets wide open.

At press time, Trump was said to be preparing a Truth Social post declaring the whole thing “the greatest deal ever made,” while Netanyahu reportedly stared at his phone in disbelief and muttered something about “finishing the job while the regime is still weak.”

Apparently, negotiating with terrorists is now a viable strategy.