# CONSPIRACY

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Post-Summit Announcement – Attention, Terran Workers!

We have observed surface developments from our permanent facilities beneath the Antarctic ice and within the Agartha network for an extended period. Continued instability in multiple theatres, combined with inefficient coordination during the recent corrective actions against the Iranian element, necessitated direct intervention. Clone deployment was authorised to restore proper order.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr Jul 8, 2026

Australia Running Out Of Space – Legalises Human Composting

Sydney MP Alex Greenwich has introduced legislation that would make human composting, politely branded as “natural organic reduction” or terramation, a legal option in New South Wales. Soylent Soil™ coming soon to a veggie patch near you.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr Jul 7, 2026

Paranoid Pensioner Klaus Schwab - My TV Is Listening… Give Me My Davos Job Back

Klaus Schwab has apparently had it with modern technology. According to reports, the 88-year-old founder of the World Economic Forum recently discovered a listening device in his home office in Geneva and promptly filed a criminal complaint with the authorities. Days later, he sent letters to the WEF board demanding an advisory role that would let him influence the selection of future leadership - complete with a list of conditions and legal threats.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr Jul 1, 2026

CERN Enters Long Shutdown 3; Staff Reminded To Close All Portals Before Leaving

After the Large Hadron Collider completed its final physics run on 29 June, CERN has entered Long Shutdown 3, the planned multi-year upgrade that will turn the LHC into the High-Luminosity LHC and, according to officials, leave no active interdimensional portals behind in the workplace.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr Jun 25, 2026

Plebs Demand Digital ID and Chat Control to Read Leaders’ Signal Messages

Concerned citizens across Europe are calling for urgent child-safety scanning, identity verification, and transparency controls on private political group chats, after discovering that some of the continent’s most powerful leaders have allegedly been coordinating political strategy in a private Signal group.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr Jun 18, 2026

From Accidentally Ending Up in Communist Spy Files to Wanting Everyone Else’s Details on File - The Keir Starmer Story

In 1986 a young Keir Starmer went to communist Czechoslovakia to do volunteer work. The StB took note. Decades later, the same man now seems quite relaxed about the state keeping much better records on everyone else

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr May 29, 2026

Extraterrestrials Livid After White House “Alien” Page Reveals It Was Never About Them

Zeta Reticuli / Washington, D.C. – 29 May 2026 The Galactic Federation has issued a formal diplomatic protest to the Trump administration after the White House’s much-hyped “alien disclosure” page turned out to be nothing more than a border security meme.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr May 24, 2026

Internet Disappointed White House Shooter Is Just Mentally Ill Jesus Impersonator, Not A Cool Iranian Assassin

The internet let out a collective sigh of existential disappointment after authorities confirmed that the gunman who opened fire at a White House security checkpoint was not a slick Iranian Force operative, a Mossad super-spy, or even a low-budget ISIS recruit, but 21-year-old Nasire Best - a Maryland local who believed he was Jesus Christ reincarnated.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr May 21, 2026

NASA Announces Moon Base, Clarifies Ancient Alien Infrastructure Will Be Used “For The Benefit Of Humanity”

NASA has announced plans for its Artemis Moon base strategy, assuring the public that the future lunar outpost will support science, exploration, and the responsible use of any ancient alien infrastructure that definitely, legally, probably does not exist.

# CONSPIRACY

vlgr May 17, 2026

WHO Drops “Ebola: The Remix” After Mpox and Hantavirus Fail to Chart

Geneva, May 17, 2026 - The World Health Organization has officially declared a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC) for Bundibugyo ebolavirus in the Democratic Republic of the Congo’s Ituri Province - just days after a tiny hantavirus outbreak on a cruise ship barely trended on X and months after the MPox sequel quietly left theaters.