# POPULAR

# POPULAR

vlgr Jun 12, 2026

Musk Becomes World's First Trillionaire - Warren Immediately Calculates How Many Lifetimes She Needs to Confiscate It

Elon Musk has officially become the world’s first trillionaire following the SpaceX IPO. Naturally, Senator Elizabeth Warren responded faster than a socialist spotting an unguarded wallet.

# POPULAR

vlgr Jun 7, 2026

Tesla Denies Warranty Claim After Roadster Found To Be 140 Million Miles From Nearest Service Center

AUSTIN, TX - Tesla has officially denied a warranty claim on Elon Musk’s 2008 Roadster after technicians determined the vehicle was “slightly outside the approved service area,” by which they meant it is currently orbiting the sun.

# POPULAR

vlgr Jun 5, 2026

Goodbye American Burger Culture: Bill Gates Announces Upside Foods’ New Cultured Tank-Beef Cells Will Save the Day After Screwworm Maggots Finish Off Real Cows

Texas ranchers woke up this week to the horrifying news that the New World Screwworm - flesh-eating maggots that burrow into living cow tissue - has officially returned after a 60-year vacation. The first confirmed case hit a baby calf in Zavala County, right in the belly button. Ranchers are panicking. Is the American burger officially dead?

# POPULAR

vlgr May 22, 2026

Europe Shocked As Gonorrhoea And Syphilis Make Huge 1940s Style Comeback

Europe is experiencing a spectacular renaissance of two ancient, easily preventable STDs: gonorrhoea and syphilis. Yes, the same diseases we’ve been able to zap with a single shot of antibiotics since your grandparents were in nappies are now staging the mother of all encores.

# POPULAR

vlgr May 21, 2026

NASA Announces Moon Base, Clarifies Ancient Alien Infrastructure Will Be Used “For The Benefit Of Humanity”

NASA has announced plans for its Artemis Moon base strategy, assuring the public that the future lunar outpost will support science, exploration, and the responsible use of any ancient alien infrastructure that definitely, legally, probably does not exist.

# POPULAR

vlgr May 15, 2026

Nolan’s ‘The Odyssey’ Crew Airlifts 47 Tons of Pancake Makeup to Make Lupita Nyong’o “Historically Accurate” as Helen of Troy

HOLLYWOOD, CA - To silence critics of Christopher Nolan’s race-swapped The Odyssey, production has reportedly diverted three cargo planes full of industrial-grade foundation, bronzer, and “Caucasian Glow” highlighter to the set, sources confirmed Tuesday.

# POPULAR

vlgr Apr 7, 2026

Future Tucker Carlson Travels Back In Time To Warn Himself He Will Convert To Voodoo Anyway

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Tucker Carlson reportedly paused mid-monologue Tuesday after being interrupted by what witnesses described as “a slightly older, more ominous version of himself” stepping through a faintly humming portal behind the studio desk.

# POPULAR

vlgr Apr 1, 2026

SPACE | Aliens Abruptly U-Turn Toward Earth After Realizing Strait of Hormuz Blockade Is Peak Entertainment

In a stunning course correction that has astronomers muttering "wait, what?", the interstellar object 3I/ATLAS has reportedly abandoned its outbound trajectory and is now slingshotting back toward Earth at a suspiciously chill 4.20 km/s.

# POPULAR

vlgr Apr 1, 2026

BREAKING: Michelle Yeoh is replacing Paapa Essiedu as Severus Snape

After intense fan backlash over "Black Snape," producers decided to go in a completely different direction.

# POPULAR

vlgr Mar 25, 2026

MEDIA | British Racism Finally Presented Properly: New Harry Potter Series Makes Severus Snape Black

HBO’s new Harry Potter series has race-swapped Severus Snape to deep brown skin and a defiant afro, finally letting British audiences experience institutional racism “properly.”