# BRITISHISLES

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Jun 12, 2026

Europe’s Cultural Enrichment Program Delivers: Ancient Beheading Rituals Make a Triumphant Comeback

The real cultural exchange is happening on the streets. From a quiet suburb near Florence to the avenues of Belfast, new arrivals are generously reintroducing Europe to a time-honored practice that predates the Enlightenment, the guillotine, and whatever “human rights” nonsense we used to believe in.

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Jun 11, 2026

EU Migration Pact Begins Tomorrow, Turning Europe’s Migration Crisis Into A Subscription Plan

From 12 June 2026, the EU’s new solidarity mechanism becomes fully operational, marking the moment Brussels finally admits what everyone already knows: almost nobody wants to take anyone in anymore.

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Jun 10, 2026

Starmer Accuses Belfast Protesters of Cultural Appropriation

Belfast, June 10 2026 – In a bold stand for community cohesion, Prime Minister Keir Starmer has condemned the “far-right thugs” in Belfast, taking it into streets as a response to an attempted public beheading. The real crime is far more sinister: cultural appropriation.

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Jun 9, 2026

Starmer Declares War on European Summer: Your Phone Now Scans Every Bikini and Calls It Child Porn

Client-side scanning on every UK phone, default on. Holiday snaps, beach photos, family holidays in Spain - all getting checked. Nothing protects children like turning the entire population’s cameras into state snitches. Meanwhile the real grooming networks partied for years while the authorities were busy not being racist.

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr May 17, 2026

Tens of Thousands Join Rival Marches in London: A Vibrant Celebration of Diverse Voices

Yesterday, London got two marches. Guess which one the BBC covered like a wholesome community fun-run? A Good Day for Nakba - a term describing Israel’s creation as the Original Sin - at the BBC

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Apr 20, 2026

UN in Tears: "If You Stop Paying Us, the Refugee Streams Might... Dry Up!"

New York, April 2026 - In a dramatic press conference, UN Secretary-General António Guterres issued a heartfelt plea to the world: the United Nations faces "imminent financial collapse" due to a pesky $1.57 billion in unpaid assessed dues. Cash reserves could vanish by July, forcing the organization to shutter operations, lay off staff, and - horror of horrors - potentially disrupt the smooth flow of "humanitarian assistance" that has kept global migration humming along so efficiently.

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Apr 14, 2026

Muslims in the EU – or How to Lie with Statistics

100% fact-based satirical guide to demographic sleight-of-hand, or why Europe’s “enrichment” plan has a receipt signed by Merkel & von der Leyen

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Mar 25, 2026

MEDIA | British Racism Finally Presented Properly: New Harry Potter Series Makes Severus Snape Black

HBO’s new Harry Potter series has race-swapped Severus Snape to deep brown skin and a defiant afro, finally letting British audiences experience institutional racism “properly.”

# BRITISHISLES

vlgr Mar 25, 2026

TECH | British Parents Rush to Buy iPhones for Kids as Ultimate Internet Nanny

In a development greeted with quiet approval across the shires, parents are flocking to Apple Stores not for the cameras, the ecosystem, or the shiny titanium finish, but because the new iOS 26.4 update turns every iPhone into a government-approved digital babysitter.

# BRITISHISLES

MrPenguin Mar 12, 2026

BRITAIN | Royal Navy Silences Critics By Successfully Moving A Ship

Historic naval manoeuvre reportedly required only three admirals, two inquiries, and a commemorative medal ceremony.