# KONŠPIRÁCIE

# KONŠPIRÁCIE

vlgr Oct 2, 2026

'Hero' Pilot Successfully Lands Routine Flight From Abu Dhabi to Qatar

On Thursday, Lufthansa flight LH 1234 from Abu Dhabi to Doha landed in light rain, eight minutes late. Captain Hoffmann, 44, blond, from Hanover, reported no injuries, no diversion and, crucially, no terrorist stabbing him at 34,000 feet. He is being hailed as a hero.

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vlgr Sep 17, 2026

Governments Deny Alien Doom Ultimatum Influenced Vaccine Recommendations

Officials insist the rollout followed the science, although the science was conducted within range of a planetary destruction device. Reported side effects were carefully weighed against the disappearance of the civilisation.

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vlgr Sep 4, 2026

Saturn Enters the Multipolar Era

NASA has discovered a new ten-sided atmospheric structure around Saturn’s south pole. Is that the first convincing evidence that the multipolar world order is about to occur on Earth, and should we already be asking what Russia had to do with it?

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vlgr Aug 14, 2026

Trump Likes His Heart. Trump Takes Aspirin.

On January 22, 2026, during the World Economic Forum in Davos, photographs of President Donald Trump showed a sizeable bruise on the back of his left hand. Predictably, the pictures circulated quickly and speculation about his health followed.

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vlgr Aug 6, 2026

Ukraine Now Monitoring Russian Troop Movements on Lunar Front

Ukrainian astronomers at the Main Astronomical Observatory have detected more than twenty large unidentified objects near the Moon, some allegedly the size of Manhattan. According to the researchers, the Moon may serve as a base for these craft, which could reach Earth in approximately twenty minutes, which would make them considerably faster than a Ukrainian trans-European cash transport.

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vlgr Aug 3, 2026

VLGR Predicts This Week’s Ickonic Episode - SpaceX to Patch the Moon on Wednesday

At approximately 06:35 UTC on August 5, a spent Falcon 9 upper stage is expected to strike the lunar surface near Einstein Crater at roughly 5,400 miles per hour. The impact will release energy equivalent to around three tons of TNT. David Icke Expected to Discover Who Really Benefits.

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vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Post-Summit Announcement – Attention, Terran Workers!

We have observed surface developments from our permanent facilities beneath the Antarctic ice and within the Agartha network for an extended period. Continued instability in multiple theatres, combined with inefficient coordination during the recent corrective actions against the Iranian element, necessitated direct intervention. Clone deployment was authorised to restore proper order.

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vlgr Jul 8, 2026

Australia Running Out Of Space – Legalises Human Composting

Sydney MP Alex Greenwich has introduced legislation that would make human composting, politely branded as “natural organic reduction” or terramation, a legal option in New South Wales. Soylent Soil™ coming soon to a veggie patch near you.

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vlgr Jul 7, 2026

Paranoid Pensioner Klaus Schwab - My TV Is Listening… Give Me My Davos Job Back

Klaus Schwab has apparently had it with modern technology. According to reports, the 88-year-old founder of the World Economic Forum recently discovered a listening device in his home office in Geneva and promptly filed a criminal complaint with the authorities. Days later, he sent letters to the WEF board demanding an advisory role that would let him influence the selection of future leadership - complete with a list of conditions and legal threats.

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vlgr Jul 1, 2026

CERN Enters Long Shutdown 3; Staff Reminded To Close All Portals Before Leaving

After the Large Hadron Collider completed its final physics run on 29 June, CERN has entered Long Shutdown 3, the planned multi-year upgrade that will turn the LHC into the High-Luminosity LHC and, according to officials, leave no active interdimensional portals behind in the workplace.