SCI/TECH

Brussels Celebrates Europe's High-Tech Miracle. Rejoice, fatties!

On October 11, the European Commission's Digital EU account proudly announced a €32.4 billion high-tech trade surplus for 2025, €566.5 billion in exports, and production growth from €287 billion in 2015 to €532 billion in 2025. Here's what we'll expose behind that announcement.

vlgr 16 reads 2 min read
Brussels Celebrates Europe's High-Tech Miracle. Rejoice, fatties!

Inflation

The celebrated 85% production increase shrinks to approximately 39% in real terms using EU consumer inflation. Still growth, just considerably less spectacular than Brussels suggests.


Pharmaceuticals

Of the €245 billion nominal increase in high-tech production since 2015, €109 billion came from pharmaceuticals. That's approximately 44.5% of the entire increase, with pharmaceuticals now accounting for €167 billion of annual high-tech production.

Electronics and telecommunications accounted for less than 19% of EU high-tech production.


Ozempic and Ireland

Ireland's pharmaceutical exports jumped from €99.7 billion in 2024 to €138.6 billion in 2025.

Exports to America in a hormone-related category associated with GLP-1 diabetes and weight-loss drugs rose from approximately €14 billion to €51 billion.

These include ingredients used in medicines such as Ozempic and Wegovy.


Somebody discovered that a diabetes drug makes people eat less, and the pharmaceutical industry promptly turned it into a multibillion-euro goldmine. Taking an injection with potentially serious side effects is now more attractive than getting off your fat arse, doing some exercise and eating something that didn't come out of a deep fryer.


China

The EU ran a €102 billion high-tech trade deficit with China in 2025, with electronics and telecommunications dominating imports.


mRNA vaccines

The COVID pandemic generated enormous revenues for the pharmaceutical industry, particularly in 2021 and 2022, when mRNA vaccines became a multibillion-dollar global business.

In 2021 alone, the EU exported €20.1 billion worth of COVID vaccines to countries outside the Union. Belgium was the largest exporter, accounting for 61% of total vaccine exports by EU member states, followed by Germany with 21%.

By the end of 2021, approximately 3 billion vaccine doses had been produced in the EU.

Meanwhile, the European Commission had signed vaccine contracts worth €71 billion for up to 4.6 billion doses by the end of 2021.

In 2022, total EU pharmaceutical exports to non-EU countries reached €287 billion, up from €235 billion in 2021. That's an increase of €52 billion in just one year. These figures cover all pharmaceutical products, not just vaccines.


The pharmaceutical boom continued after the pandemic. By 2025, Europe's expanding pharmaceutical business also included biologic medicines, cancer treatments, and the increasingly lucrative diabetes and weight-loss market. Ireland emerged as a particularly enthusiastic beneficiary, exporting €138.6 billion worth of pharmaceutical products in 2025, including €85.5 billion to the United States.


Facit

The EU recorded a €64 billion high-tech trade surplus with the United States, including a €77 billion pharmaceutical surplus. Without pharmaceuticals, its high-tech trade balance with America would have been approximately €13 billion in deficit.


Europe's digital-policy department celebrates its technological success with statistics substantially driven by pharmaceuticals, American demand for medicines, and, more recently, the booming market for weight-loss treatments.

Meanwhile, Europe continues importing enormous quantities of electronics from China, waves its sanctions around, pours taxpayers' money into corrupt black holes, nobody takes it seriously while its running out of gas, diesel and oil.

Priorities, right...?

Sources

This is a satirical piece. vlgr is not a real news outlet - it's parody and exaggeration for entertainment purposes only.
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