# AUSTRIA

# AUSTRIA

vlgr Sep 9, 2026

Austria Bans School Headscarves, Forgets Most Teachers Aren’t Dumbledore

Austria has banned Islamic headscarves for schoolgirls under 14. The Foreign Funded Islamic Organisations are Outraged. Opponents provide instructions for delaying enforcement, parents reportedly being assured the fines will be paid. Teachers asked to police this between mathematics and lunch.

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vlgr Jun 17, 2026

Austria Cancels Quantum Future to Protect Gender Studies

Austria has taken the lead in Europe’s latest intellectual fashion - sacrificing technological capability to protect feelings-based studies. The Johannes Kepler University has announced it will no longer support the planned Bachelor program in Quantum Science and Technology.

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vlgr Jun 17, 2026

Helmut Brandstätter – Austria’s Finest Contribution to European Democracy

Austria has produced many remarkable figures throughout history. In our own time, one man stands out for his unwavering commitment to European values, the defence of democracy, and the proper management of public information.

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vlgr Jun 10, 2026

EU Proposes New Tax on the Few Euros You Somehow Still Have Left

After decades of world-class extraction, Brussels identifies the final untapped resource: whatever pathetic crumbs remain under your mattress. Member states will of course be obligated to adopt it.

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vlgr Jun 4, 2026

Congratulations, Austria: UN Security Council Seat for the "Rock Me Amadeus" Bridge-Builder

Principled Neutrality Now Includes Special Treatment for Ukraine, Substantial Donations to Muslim Countries, a Long-Established Chechen Presence, Iran’s Operational Infrastructure in Vienna, Open Turkish Electoral Mobilisation, a Compromised Intelligence Reputation Among European Partners, and a Senior Diplomat’s Anonymous Sadomasochistic Blog

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vlgr May 27, 2026

Germany | Social Media Platforms Delighted to Algorithmically Embrace Our Beloved State Broadcasters!

To “protect media plurality” (a phrase that fills every true German heart with joy), the 14 diligent state media regulators have leaked a fresh, forward-thinking proposal: social media platforms MUST algorithmically boost “trusted” outlets like ARD, ZDF, and a select handful of approved legacy players.

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vlgr May 18, 2026

Welcome to Austria – The Country With One of the Highest Non-EU Migration Rates Per Head

While some Austrian media outlets celebrate that the population has grown by 1.6 million since 1989, they carefully avoid the most important detail: this growth is overwhelmingly driven by non-EU migration, and a very large part of it comes from Muslim-majority countries. Austria now has one of the highest rates of non-EU migration per capita in Western Europe - and we are increasingly unable or unwilling, to measure the long-term consequences.

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vlgr May 11, 2026

Austria: Europe’s Most Generous Neutral Superstar - Austrian Bank Ships €20 Billion in Cash & Gold to Ukraine

Vienna, May 11, 2026 – While Austria drowns in recession and budget cuts, Foreign Minister Beate Meinl-Reisinger keeps the cash flowing to both a distant war and Middle East hotspots. Austrian-headquartered Raiffeisen Bank ships billions in cash and gold to a non-EU war country where neither the euro nor the dollar is even legal tender. Neutrality? What neutrality?

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vlgr Apr 20, 2026

Austria’s Transparency – “The Epstein Pass That Never Happened” - Thanks to Strict GDPR

Vienna, April 20, 2026 – While the rest of the world is still digging through fresh Epstein file dumps revealing a forged Austrian passport with Epstein’s photo, fake name (Marius Robert Fortelni, born in Vienna, Saudi residence listed), and mysterious travel stamps, Austrian authorities have officially decided: nothing to see here, move along.

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vlgr Apr 17, 2026

Europeans Breathe Collective Sigh of Relief: Thank God, We Can Finally Skip the Mandatory Mediterranean Flex

Brussels, April 17, 2026 – For decades, the unspoken rule of European summer has been crystal clear: if you don’t post a sunset photo from a Greek island, a Spanish costa, or an Italian cliffside with a €14 Aperol Spritz in hand, did you even have a summer? With jet fuel shortages grounding flights in around 6 weeks, millions have found themselves freed from the annual obligation.