# ENERGY

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 23, 2026

Turkish Sultanate supports their Turkish Cypriot brothers with an illegal bidirectional pipeline - escalation imminent?

Turkey has once again demonstrated its boundless generosity toward the Turkish Cypriots. After occupying the northern third of Cyprus for over half a century, Ankara has decided the best way to help its “brothers” is to build them a 101-kilometre undersea natural gas pipeline - without asking the internationally recognised government of the island. Wanna know why? Read here.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 9, 2026

Post-Summit Announcement – Attention, Terran Workers!

We have observed surface developments from our permanent facilities beneath the Antarctic ice and within the Agartha network for an extended period. Continued instability in multiple theatres, combined with inefficient coordination during the recent corrective actions against the Iranian element, necessitated direct intervention. Clone deployment was authorised to restore proper order.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 8, 2026

Australia Running Out Of Space – Legalises Human Composting

Sydney MP Alex Greenwich has introduced legislation that would make human composting, politely branded as “natural organic reduction” or terramation, a legal option in New South Wales. Soylent Soil™ coming soon to a veggie patch near you.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 8, 2026

Ankara Summit Special - Trump Tells Allies To “Talk That Talk, Walk That Walk”

Ankara, July 2026 - he most awkward NATO family reunion since Turkey bought Russian missiles and everyone pretended not to notice. Trump’s strategy of dangling a carrot in front of Erdoğan is in full swing, the results may vary.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 4, 2026

Germany finally catches the vacation terrorist - Sergij Kuznetsov - who couldn’t even blow up all four Nord Stream pipelines

Nearly four years after the Nord Stream explosions, German authorities have finally caught up with Sergij Kuznetsov - a man whose deep love for water sports apparently led him to combine his hobby with a bit of pipeline exploration. He was arrested while enjoying a well-deserved family holiday in Italy.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 1, 2026

CERN Enters Long Shutdown 3; Staff Reminded To Close All Portals Before Leaving

After the Large Hadron Collider completed its final physics run on 29 June, CERN has entered Long Shutdown 3, the planned multi-year upgrade that will turn the LHC into the High-Luminosity LHC and, according to officials, leave no active interdimensional portals behind in the workplace.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jul 1, 2026

Amid Economic Crisis, Turkey Officially Declares Itself History’s Most Compassionate Empire

In response to Israel's cabinet approving recognition of the Armenian Genocide, Erdogan doubles down on historical fanfiction.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jun 29, 2026

The EIB Borrows Money Cheaply So It Can "Lend" It to Africa. Taxpayers Overjoyed.

Ursula von der Leyen met the president of the European Investment Bank and said Europe’s future is being built on investments today. She was technically correct. Most of the interesting futures are happening in Africa.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jun 29, 2026

EU tapping into circular economy - Every Failed Shirt Deserves A European Consumer

EU Turns Textile Waste Into Consumer Choice - A new ban on destroying unsold clothes will help large companies reduce waste by finding new European homes for garments that had already been rejected elsewhere, with absolutely no guarantee of a better price.

# ENERGY

vlgr Jun 27, 2026

EU Commission Shows True Endurance: Sacrificing Lower Floor Comfort to Keep Europe’s Finest Minds Cool and Focused

While lesser institutions might have surrendered to short-term populist pressure and turned the AC back on for everyone, the European Commission made the hard call. In the middle of a brutal heatwave, it shut down cooling on floors 1-7 of the Berlaymont so the people who actually run the show could keep their heads clear.